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Fishing Humor - One Liners
  • "Are we going fishing?" This is kind of like asking your dog if he would like to finish your steak!
  • It has always been my private conviction that any man who pits his intelligence against a fish and loses, has it coming. ~John Steinbeck
  • You cannot bring a hook into a fish's mouth unless there is food on it that pleases him. Dame Juliana Berners Author of Treatise of Fishing with an Angle (1450)
  • A Day Spent Fishing Cannot Be Deducted From A Person's Life!
  • There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
  • A fishing rod is a stick with a hook at one end and a fool at the other. Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)
  • The charm of fishing is that it is the pursuit of what is elusive but attainable, a perpetual series of occasions for hope. John Buchan (1875 - 1940) Scottish author

Seasonal Dink Float
  • "Fishermen are born honest, but they get over it." Ed Zern, 1945
  • Nothing makes a fish bigger than almost being caught. - Author Unknown
  • I once gave up fishing; It was the most terrifying weekend of my life.
  • It is just possible that nice guys don't catch the most fish. But they find far more pleasure in those they do get. - Roderick Haig-Brown 1960
  • Where do fish keep their cash? In a river bank!
  • What did the fish say when it ran into a wall? DAM!
  • How do fish know how much they weigh? They check their scales !!!
  • Trout thrive best in water with a high mineral content, while this is the very sort of water that is worst for making Tennessee whiskey. This is why one never finds a trout in a fifth of Jack Daniel's. Or vice versa. - Milford Stanley Poltroon 1977
  • "You will find angling to be like the virtue of humility, which has a calmness of spirit and a world of other blessings attending upon it." - Isaak Walton
  • Angling may be said to be so like the mathematics that it can never be fully learnt - Izaak Walton,
  • Im so well prepared I even sharpen the points on my anchor.
  • Shall I go to heaven or a-fishing? ATTRIBUTION:Henry David Thoreau
  • "When the solution is simple, God is answering. - Albert Einstein"
  • I only fish on days that end in “Y”
  • Cry me a river, at least then I could fish!
  • I am...therefore I fish
  • "Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity." - Darrell Royal
  • "Life is what happens while you are making other plans." - John Lennon
  • Fish jump because they don't have middle fingers!
  • Fish only bite wet hooks
  • I'm working on my second fish of the day right now, uhh, because the first one just doesnt want to bite.
  • Fishing is worth any amount of effort and any amount of expense to people who love it, because in the end you get such a large number of dreams per fish. -Ian Frazier, The Fish's Eye
  • You can always tell a fisherman, you just can't tell him much.
  • No one really listens to anyone else, and if you try it for awhile you’ll see why. --- Mignon McLaughlin
  • A man's got to believe in something... I believe I'll go fishing. - Thoreau
  • Most fishermen are liars, except you and me, and sometimes I doubt YOU!
  • It figures, I should have been here yesterday!!!
  • We have enough youth, how about someone finding the Fountain of Smart!
  • Remember - Fishing advice is worth exactly what you paid for it - Unless you paid for it!
  • Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he'll sit in a boat and drink beer all day!
  • We dont catch fish, we catch excitement !
  • dont kill what you dont eat, unless its going to eat you.
  • Where did my bobber go?
  • The fishing was GREAT! The catching could have used some improvement however.
  • I freeze my butt......not my fish. My feet turned shades of blue that I had never witnessed before.
  • I fish therefore I am not here.
  • I fish, therefore I lie.
  • Fishing speed - cruising down the freeway at "gotta-get-to-the-water" speed, warp something or other!
  • I finally got a new rod and reel for my wife...WOW!....Great trade!
  • If it was just you and me on the water, it would be one too many.
  • All fishermen are liars 'cept you an me..... and I'm startin to wonder about you!!
  • A man's got to believe in something... I believe I'll go fishing. – Thoreau
  • The two best times to be fishing is when its raining, and when it ain't - Rancid Crabtree.
  • With this new season, I hope and pray that we all take a step back remember how blessed we are to have found something in nature so pure and simple as a trout sipping Mayflies on a summer afternoon.
  • "The curious thing about fishing is you never want to go home. If you catch something, you can't stop. If you don't catch anything, you hate to leave in case something might bite."
  • The difference between a fairy tale and a fish story is a fairy tail begins, "Once upon a time..." and a fish story begins, " This is the honest to god truth..."
  • If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles. --Doug Larson
  • I've never been skunked but I've run out of time a lot
  • Of all the liars among mankind, the fisherman is the most trustworthy. - William Sherwood Fox
  • "Not All Fisherman Are Liars But A Lot Of Liars Fish"
  • Fishing is not a hobby, a hobby is something you do in your spare time.
  • Fishing Tools - You only need two tools to solve all fishing related problems: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
  • Yes, the kids have a college fund. Its in the plano boxes at the bottom of the boat.
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